the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
