remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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