I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
