I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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