I want to stick my p in your. b.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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