I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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