I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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