I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
