Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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