ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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