yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize