Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My liver just had a heart attack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
