he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
