im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
