I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
