do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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