You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
