He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.