i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016