Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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