Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho