YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.