My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid