I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan