Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
