i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
