I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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