I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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