Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
