Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
