apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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