I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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