well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
is that a dick in a sweater?
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