In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
