I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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