There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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