I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
