Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
