Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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(708): View more from Illinois

i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(314): View more from Missouri

every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.

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(315): View more from New York

someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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(618): View more from Illinois

He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."

(224): View more from Illinois

Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.

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(512): View more from Texas

Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved

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(214): View more from Texas

Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.

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(949): View more from California

It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate

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