We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
