Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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