I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
