Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Someone shit on the floor
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.