I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
