on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
