The maid of honor just puked.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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