WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
