Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
