I heard we made out
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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