I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
