found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
