i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
