Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
