I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
