You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
