you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
