i don't like sucking hair
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
