The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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