The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
