im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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