I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
