We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
