Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
