She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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