So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
