That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
