Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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