I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
